Mmmm, tastes like vanilla ice cream?

In the last month, I have noticed a lot of questions on Instagram, from both men and women, about what our genitals and secretions should taste like. If you've never played Masterchef's judge in bed, it's a good idea to know that the taste doesn't exactly resemble vanilla ice cream. 

The temptation is great, increasing year by year. To test your partner's secretion and imagine all the best tastes in the world. But when it does happen, it is not the taste of chilled iced tea, but, in my first experience, the slippery milk of unspecified taste. I was more concerned with the fluid's structure in my head at the time and forgot to check the taste. But oh, how awful it was. My eyes were full of tears, and I felt all the contents of my stomach rising. I could barely turn the direction of its movement, ate all the sperm, and imagined a beautiful spring day and the chirping of birds.  

In later years, I heard everything about how taste changes, how it depends on the attitude towards the person with whom you are, and how taste is conditioned by the food you eat. I believe in the first and third statements; the second is just full of shit. Sperm never tasted like strawberries, no matter how much I was in love. It varied according to the periods and was different from man to man. Not so much that I could judge which of them followed a healthy lifestyle and which did not. As some online sources summarize the taste, the sperm is "warm, salty, and has a slight smell of chlorine". The taste of semen, if I correctly name the fluid, comes from a cocktail of prostatic fluid, semen fluid, and sperm. All of these carry sugars and some minerals, including zinc and calcium. Some can taste spicy, others sweetness, and I most often taste bitter, which is apparently quite normal. The alkalinity of semen and zinc contribute to the bitterness.  

That a diet can affect the taste of semen is a lump sum claim based on the assumption that food influences the composition of sweat, breast milk, and saliva. There have been too few studies that could confirm or refute the effect of nutrition on the taste of semen. Still, in theory, bitterness is enhanced by some products such as garlic, onions, broccoli, cabbage, leafy vegetables, asparagus, meat, and dairy products. Au contraire, products such as celery, parsley, papaya, pineapple, nutmeg, cinnamon, and oranges are supposed to help improve the taste. Alcohol is also said to have a proverbial effect on taste, but scientists claim that this is just a generalization and that different drinks affect the taste of sperm differently.

What about women? Do our genitals really taste like fish? I have never tasted it, not even my own, because I have forbidden kissing after someone touches my bottom floor with their mouth. I also have a hard time believing someone who is head over heels in love thinks vaginal fluid tastes great. "Experts" on the Internet describe it as metallic, similar to licking a coin or a battery. Those slightly more serious scientists say that the taste of vaginal fluid depends on the pH of the vagina. The palette between somewhat sweet, bitter, and sour is standard, so far from strawberries and ice cream. It gets closer to the taste of spoiled fish and expired meat when our genitals are attacked by fungi or bacteria.  

If the vaginal flora is healthy, the taste of the vaginal fluid depends on the phase of the cycle we are in, but regardless, playing mouth to vulva is still the closest thing to licking a coin. As with men, the effect of diet on the taste of vaginal fluid has not been proven in women. Doctors recommend drinking enough water, getting enough sleep, managing stress, and exercising.  

MasterChef competitors, women and men, go to work! Treat yourself to a coin or maybe something warm and bitter. I only hope that your experience will not be similar to my first one.