Meow, meow, … Orgasm!
After the longest night of the year (some of us have more nights like this, others only one), the worst hangover is knocking on the door. We, Slovenians, compare a hangover like that with a tiger, and if there were any other more enormous feline beast than this, the night after getting drunk would be just that.
What if feeling good after a long night of drinking shots is just an orgasm away?
My drunken sprees, which don't occur very often, looks something like this: I get dressed and head out - while riding my bicycle, I say to myself: "Just two drinks and nothing more." because I really don't want to wake up with the same bad feeling as I did a month ago. I arrive home about five hours later, and despite the slight dizziness, I am convinced that I did not drink that much. The first sign that tells me the opposite is, of course, the lock and me trying to insert the key. Even though my experiments take longer than usual and look pretty hopeless, I still tell myself quite optimistically that nothing is wrong with me. Over the years, the dizziness that occurs when I go to bed has started to bother me more than it used to. That's when I think about sex until I fall asleep.
When I open my eyes in the morning, … OMG. There is no air in the room, and it is challenging to raise my head; the stomach is distressed. I get up with difficulty, head to the kitchen, and desperately search for ice tea or some juice. I prefer not to look in the mirror because I know I will see a panda in it, circles around the eyes, from mascara, or just from the lack of sleep. I make coffee and slowly start to get myself together, piece by piece. The coffee and the cigarette that I definitely shouldn't smoke are followed by a long shower and a good breakfast with many painkillers. When all the planets are aligned, and I have nothing to do, I crawl back into bed.
Then I lazily glance at the closet where erotic toys are waiting for me, and I think:
"If only an orgasm could be a miracle cure for a hangover."
Some scientists claim that the so-called 'katzenjammer' occurs due to the immune system's response to alcohol. While drinking, the amounts of protein named cytoxin in the body increase and cause inflammation that feels like a headache or a stomach pain. It also causes memory loss. During orgasm, on the other hand, oxytocin, which has an anti-inflammatory effect, is released. So one minus one is zero—goodbye hangover.
ince test subjects are not available, whenever I want to, I pulled my favorite toy out of the closet and reluctantly took off my underpants, and pushed the toy under the blanket. I didn't feel anything at first. I could have given up, but I didn't. I insisted till I didn't reach an orgasm. During the process, I forgot about the headache. I was smiling, and even before I closed my eyes, I was already asleep.
I also had the opportunity to have morning sex after a night of drinking. I was awakened by the touch of fingers on my clit, and the first thought was to push it away and fall back asleep. That was all I wanted. However, I did not do that. Even though my brain was bouncing like metal weights in Kegel balls, I felt good during sex. I forgot about the consequences of the previous night. Nevertheless, after sex, I preferred to take a painkiller and go to sleep.
So, the conclusion of my test: it is better to have sex or solo play sober. If you are just a bit hungover, an orgasm will help you, and if you have a big tiger living in your head, it is best if you go to sleep. You better leave your orgasm for the next day when you'll be at your best again. Unfortunately, orgasm is not a miracle cure for the hangover; it only distracts you and allows you to forget about the pain.
Today, heads are already a bit rested from celebrating the arrival of the new year. A perfect day for sex, don't you think?