Let's play a Memory Game

I liked to play board games where the brain had to work somehow, from trivial pursuits to Memory Games. In the latter, part of the brain could be turned off, but it was still fun. I loved it when I beat my grandparents and parents smoothly with my young and very well-functioning head.  

While I was growing older, the dust started to cover the board game boxes. It was first wiped down only during the epidemic when playing them shortened those long days. That's when I realized that my memory had become rusty. I wasn't apprehensive, but it bothered me that winning wasn't as smooth as it used to be. It was just a flash. I soon began to burden my brain with other everyday things. I always had my phone if my memory did not serve me at certain times.

But even though I held most of the threads in my daily life and remembered almost everything, my memory failed as I struggled to recall the past hot nights in bed. When the conversation leads to it, what scares me the most is the sentence that starts with "do you remember". The more I try to find this memory, the less I know. Sometimes, it even seems so strange and unknown that I seriously think about whether it was really me in bed or all these things were done by someone else.  

It hit me like a bolt of lightning. Although there were still fantasies and specific images of my sex life in my head, it often happens that some hot scenes are entirely erased. When I first experienced this, I couldn't believe it. I was convinced that the man was lying or had defended himself and was trying to fix a bizarre situation in which I could not remember anything about a particular event. Sacredly convinced that there was absolutely nothing wrong with my head, I began to get angry. "Are you making this up? What are you saying? It definitely wasn't me." Imagine this scene! My face was grimaced with rage, and the man's face was covered in surprise and growing confusion.  

Even more tragic is that I remember past night adventures from ten or fifteen years ago. A few may have already been dusty, but the outlines are still in my head. Unfortunately, I often do not remember those that happened recently, although they were the best. How do I know? Although I don't remember the specific event, and I really don't know the order of the sex positions anymore, I remember the feeling. I can easily say it was excellent or good or did not happen as it should.  

I keep certain bed activities in my head to the last detail. I remember the place, the smell, even the part of the day when sex took place, the positions, the use of toys, and resting at the end. These later also feed my fantasy when I'm in my bed alone.  

As this seemed very strange to me, I, like everyone else, turned to the Internet for help. I did not ask; I just read the statements of some people and scientists. With all the head examinations I've had, I know that this is not the beginning of Alzheimer's disease in my case, so I skipped the first and darkest hit and focused on everything else. I came across one that explored the difference in 'sexual memory' between women and men. Like some research before, this one has proven that men remember erotic parts, while women remember sex-related romance more easily. Maybe that's what's causing my loss of memories of great sex?  

Although the research was interesting, I find it hard to believe that this is the reason in my case. Why: Since certain sexual relationships did not contain a hint of romance, they were successfully burned into my memory. Many other forums and websites associate not remembering bedtime activities with trauma. I believe in it, but I have not experienced it myself. Not with this man in question.  

Despite browsing, I did not come across relevant information for me. The one I share my bed with has learned to be patient, although he cannot hide his surprise whenever I say, "I don't know, I don't remember." When I hear a thorough summary, memory is often revived, but sometimes, I only get an aftertaste, and the event itself is far from familiar. Or maybe re-playing memory-boosting board games will help me remember my sexual adventures.