Top five toys of 2022

Once again, the year just slipped through my fingers. It started with my birthday and the dull and grey January and ended with the December lights. It passed as if I had waved a wand. But I enjoyed it in between and looking at all the reviews of the toys I tested in 2022 let me know I spent it in good company. It was no surprise that the top three toys this time were all vibrators with Air Pulse technology. Besides these, one anal and one rabbit vibrator made it to the top.

The top five in 2022 are:

Satisfyer Plug-Ilicious 2

The last place in the top five was taken by Satisfyer Plug-Ilicious 2 anal vibrator. Although similar to Lolli, it made it onto this list mainly due to its ability to be controlled via an app and because it is effortless to insert into a giant peach. Although the toy has two motors, one at the tip and the other at the base, it can be operated with just one button. You can choose between four intense vibration levels and six patterns. Best of all, the toy stays in place while you change positions and wander around the apartment.

Lelo Enigma

The infamous fourth place went to Lelo Enigma, a vibrator I've wanted for a long time but only got this November. I've named it my Christmas Black Swan because of the flexible, curved neck and a thick, hard head at the end that will gently massage the G-spot while sonic waves pamper the clitoris. Unlike other toys, the patterns offered by Enigma made me ecstatic. Again, you can adjust the strength of the vibrations and choose the level you like best. I was only disturbed by the vibrator's high price and its volume. If they could get rid of just one negative feature, Enigma would quickly become my vibrator of 2022.

Unihorn Redrose

Unihorn Redrose is a vibrator that brought spring to my bed. The most attractive feature of this clitoral stimulator is the Air Pulse technology - suction which brought me an orgasm comparable to a nuclear bomb using the weakest vibrations. There are quite a few interesting patterns, but the ones that caught my attention the most were the ones that pulsed at different suction speeds. Enough to tease, but not enough to push me over the edge. The only problems with this vibrator were the single button operation and the petals, which are almost impossible to wash and dry well.

Lovense Nora

Nora was the last vibrator I reviewed in 2022, and it was almost the best. I was most impressed by the head circulation, the powerful vibrations, and the seamless connection with the app, which I couldn't praise enough. I started the game in a not-so-modern way - using the buttons. There are two on the toy; the top one to switch the toy on / off and to control the clitoral stimulator, and the bottom one to control the circulation in the peach. You can choose from three intense vibration levels and five patterns. The good thing about the app is that you can create your own pattern or choose one created by another user. This toy is also suitable for couples, especially if another virus appears and we are doomed to stay in the house. Nora will work even if it is operated by a partner who lives in another municipality or country.

Satisfyer Supernova Old Rose

Some say that since I tested the Satisfyer Pro-G Spot vibrator, I found my stairway to heaven. For me, heaven should look like me in my bed and any of the rabbit vibrators that combine vibration with suction. This year it was Satisfyer Supernova Old Rose. It has eleven levels of pressure wave power, and I was grateful that there were no patterns. On the contrary, the insertable part has five of them, besides five different vibration powers - pulsating, rippling, and something that reminded me of a quick lama spit. Because Supernova Old Rose has two separate motors, the insertable and the clitoral stimulator can be used separately. It also has a magic knee that allows you to adjust the proximity of the insertable part and the clitoral suction cup.

Soon I will be swapping vibrators for a wooden spoon, a cookbook, and spices. Instead of studying toys, I will bake biscuits, wrap presents and drink champagne. Then, when it gets dark, I will take five minutes to myself and treat myself with good old fingers smelling of cinnamon and cardamom. And with the New Year, I will look forward to new vibrating victories.