So long, farewell, auf Wiedersehn, goodbye 2020!
This song from The Sound of Music and similar ones creep through my mind at the almost end of 2020. Well, I also had Wake me up when September ends or my cover of this song - Wake me up when April ends. Then I might be able to drink coffee in a bar and write reviews of the toys I tested.
I entered 2020 optimistically, without any promises to myself, but with many goals. Like a real Capricorn who always starts the year in style - celebrating a birthday. That's why I always want to say goodbye to the old year with a bottle of champagne and surrounded by the sound of New Year's Eve start celebrating my birthday even if it is just for few hours.
I was grateful for the job, for the possibility of employment for an indefinite term, and for Those Creamy Peaches blog. I had big plans with this page. I felt good until March when everything became grey. The coronavirus and the measures associated with it paralyzed me with fear. I tried not to think about it, but at the same time, I knew I was living with two people at higher risk from coronavirus. My father is having problems with his heart, and my mother was recently diagnosed with multiple sclerosis. If I didn't have the blog and toys in that period, I don't know how I would have made my way through each day separately. What is it like to be locked up with your parents? It was acceptable at the time. We were playing board games, drink pear schnapps, and waiting for the arrival of spring. Still, every night, we stared at the numbers of the infected with fear in our eyes.
Luckily, I had plenty of time for myself as well. I was able to go to our summer house at weekends, where I forgot about the world and had fun with toys. These were my escapes. All the way till May, when we were allowed to breathe again and return to a fairly normal life. I started planning my summer holidays in Slovenia and dreamed of feeling the sand under my feet. I was looking forward to summer with great joy. Like someone has just woke me up from a long sleep.
I had to do some more tests before the holiday due to health problems, and the feeling was not good. MRI, lumbar puncture, reflex checks, and at the end diagnosis: multiple sclerosis. How? That day my body trembled, not from fear, but from anger, from anger at me. I knew what this diagnosis means; I observed my mother for the last few years and saw what the disease was causing. I feared for my brain, for every cell in my head. Suddenly, my picture of the future was falling into pieces.
After a while, I was again looking forward to the holidays and especially to the solitude. I needed it like I need air. Nevertheless, somewhere deep inside, the fear arose whether I might wake up in the morning with a paralyzed leg or with no sexual desire. None of this happened. Looking at my apartment, the sea, and the huge amount of toys, I felt peace somewhere in me. After several days of testing, I found out that I could still experience orgasms one after another. I was full of optimism, and gradually the goals that kept me alive in the first quarter of the year were coming back. It was warm again. I was able to see my friends and do what I love to do - test erotic toys.
Cold days, work, and another wave of the virus buried the summer too quickly. The inevitable was coming. When the first case of infection arose at the office, the fear overwhelmed me again. But there was one difference. This time I was scared for myself too. I have been locked up at home since the end of September. There were no more escapes to the summerhouse for the weekend, and every day I fought for just a piece of peace and struggled with my tiredness of constantly watching the same people and always doing the same stupid things. I disconnected from the news, threw myself in the apartment search, and took advantage of hours of solitude to test erotic toys. That's when my illness disappeared; my stress disappeared.
I thought there would be no joy in the middle of December, just a struggle for survival - mental survival. To get through the year. However, despite the situation, I surprised myself. I was grateful for that little bunch of good things that 2020 brought me, for collaborations with erotic stores, and for the blog's success. The goals were not met, but also not forgotten. Somewhere in the corner of my mind, they are still waiting to be realized, and I think there will be more opportunities next year.
Trying out erotic toys and writing has saved me countless times this year. I tested the phrase 'anything is possible'; blogging was my escape from the corona, from MS, from lack of contact with friends. It was an escape from 2020.
How would I describe this period at all? In short, like that nasty mosquito that flies over your head and doesn't allow you to close your eyes. All you can do is punch the air hopelessly, then give up and cover with a blanket up to your nose, and in the morning, you wake up with an itchy rash on your ass.
With a few ups and many downs, I've got through the year, leaving it behind more tired than I entered it. Tired and stronger at the same time. Exactly when midnight strikes on a New Year's Eve , I will toast to a better year and blow out thirty candles. At the same time, I will wish for more erotic toys and more orgasms. Oh, and the apartment. And a three-day revelry when the bars will open again.
I wish you lots of fireworks between your legs, as little fear as possible, and lots of courage in the new year!