Whipped, bitten, and tied up
BDSM became a real hit a few years ago when millions of women started raging about the book and movie 50 Shades of Grey and its sequels. Even my mom bought the book in the belief that she was buying good literature. She didn't even get halfway through. Although these novels are pulp fiction from a literary point of view, it has encouraged women and men to talk about kinks and fetishes.
What is a fetish?
a :an object (such as a small stone carving of an animal) believed to have magical power to protect or aid its owner broadly: a material object regarded with superstitious or extravagant trust or reverence
b : an object of irrational reverence or obsessive devotion
c : an object or bodily part whose real or fantasied presence is psychologically necessary for sexual gratification and that is an object of fixation to the extent that it may interfere with complete sexual expression
What is a kink?
- a mental or physical peculiarity, - a clever, unusual way of doing something, - unconventional sexual taste or behavior.
Although it may sound strange, most people have kinks. We often confuse it with fetishes, but these two concepts are different. Fetishes are only part of kinks. And contrary to many different opinions, BDSM (Bondage, Discipline, Dominance, Submission, Sadomasochism) is not classified as a fetish, but it is the most well-known kink.
Fetish is a fixation on a particular object or part of the body, without which an individual cannot imagine sex or orgasm. If, for example, we cannot have sex without a woman wearing red high heels or without a man with strong hands, then this is a fetish. If we like to see a woman in a corset from time to time or tie up a man, this is a kink and not a fetish. When we talk about fetishes today, we more often think of kinks. The most common of these are:
- Anal sex (Although anal sex is much more popular today than before, it is still considered deviant. Non the less, we are fantasizing about it or practicing it.)
- Smoking (I don't talk about that smoking on the balcony in pajamas at six in the morning, but a woman dressed from head to toe who smokes passionately while radiating dominance.)
- Dominance (Many people enjoy being a subordinate. In most cases, the woman is the dominant one, but this is not the rule - sometimes it is good that our partner is in charge.)
- Toys (My favorite kink, not a fetish. I'm still able to have an orgasm without their help, but toys have the power to spice up any sex.)
- Sex in a public place (Ugh, many of us have played with the thought to have sex in the park or a the beach. You are overwhelmed by a mixture of courage, fear, and passion. Some say it's the best combination. At least until a police officer tugs your sleeve during sex.)
- Corset, latex, jewelry, and other clothing (It often gets slightly wet between our legs due to the clothes our partner is wearing. Men fall for underwear, corsets, stockings, and high-heels. I am a huge fan of men's bracelets and watches and some men's belts while other women swear on uniforms.)
- Observing the other during masturbation (Yes, this is also a kink, and many people are ashamed when their partners want to watch the finger game downstairs. Men especially like to put themselves in this role, although it is also pleasant for girls to watch a man rubbing his genitals.)
- Buttocks, feet, breasts, palms (Most individuals may recognize themselves in this category. Men usually look at women's breasts and buttocks, and women rest their eyes on men's hands and palms. Sometimes they also check men's ass, but really - just from time to time.)
Quite a few of the kinks I mentioned above fall under BDSM, but not all. The most important characteristic when talking about BDSM is the opposition between dominant and subordinate. The latter can manifest in various ways, such as tying up, sadism (pleasure in pain), and masochism (enjoyment in causing pain). It's hard to talk about the right way to play BDSM. Not even those loyal followers play by the rules. If you just like spanking or being strangled or you are more inclined to tie up a partner, that's a matter of agreement. It is essential to enjoy your role; either you are a domino with a whip or a bounded girl waiting for a hot wax.
With the birth of the book, our attitude towards the BDSM practice was reborn. It brought popularity not only to kinks but also to fetishes. Although we still label some of them as weird, we began to look at most fetishes and kinks differently, without shame or accusation.