At least once, we've all watched series or movies starring a sexy sex therapist surrounded by giant dildos and vibrators. She is usually well dressed and has an adorable cabinet at her house. She runs courses for women and has sex with a 'real' man in her free time. But, is this really the role of a sexologist?
Sexology is, simply put, the science of sex or human sexual behavior. It unites several fields like biology, medicine, psychology, epidemiology, and sociology, and researches everything related to sex, such as having sex at different ages, sex with disabled, psychological and physical sexual disorders, and much more.
Although we know sex from Antiquity, sexology as a science became established in Germany at the end of the nineteenth century. It was founded by Richard Freiherr von Kraft Ebing and explained in his book Psychopathia Sexualis. He focused mainly on research on homosexuality but is also mentioning sadism and masochism. Eleven years later, in 1897, Havelock Ellis' book, Sexual Inversion, was published in Great Britain. He researched sex between members of different generations. Like Ebing, he also dealt with homosexuality but did not treat it as ugly, immoral, or even criminal. He also coined the words autoeroticism and narcissism, which were defined in detail by Freud. We all know he studied human sexuality and came to some conclusions that are still very important today.
In sex research, however, the real boom began after World War II. The best researchers in sexology were Alfred Kinsley, who even founded the Institute for the Study of Sexuality, Vern Bullough, and the well-known Masters and Johnson.
Will the sexologist sleep with you? Maybe in his own free time, if he likes you, but not as a professional. You are not gonna believe me, but this is not his job. A sexologist is a person who researches sexuality and helps you with problems with your sex life - through conversation. Nevertheless, there are professions in the United States that can help you more concretely:
- Alternate partners - they cooperate with sexologists and show you the skills of seduction and help you overcome some problems with sex;
- Healers - their work is very similar to alternate partners, but they take sex as part of the healing process (rape victims, the disabled);
- Somatica sex coaches - the name is a bit strange, but a somatica teacher is nothing more than a sexologist who helps by first teaching you the theory and then showing it to you in practice - but dressed, always dressed.
Sexologists and coaches described above will help you take a step towards healthy and fulfilling sex life. They do this differently than 'fille de Joie', as they know all the possible problems with sex from A to Z.
Being a sexologist in Slovenia
Sexology, despite heavily tabooed sexuality, is most developed in the United States. And Slovenia? Are there therapists who can help you with sex?
In our country, sexual disorders are treated by GPs. However, if you want a therapist, you should consult a psychiatrist who has passed additional exams in sexuality. Sexologists work in psychiatric clinics, in the departments of sexology. Nevertheless, there are very few of them in Slovenia, although many people today face sexual problems.
f you want to become a sexologist in Slovenia, like I once dreamed of, you have to enroll in medical school, a psychiatry major where you specialize in the study of sexuality. Unfortunately, I predicted that being a medical student would be too difficult for me and, above all, you need to study for a really long time. Besides that, I didn't have the balls to present my idea to my parents:
"I'm interested in sex, so I'll be a sexologist."
If I could turn back time, I would have decided differently and said with great pride that I want to study exactly that. Well, maybe I should only mention medicine. This would be better for my parents and grandparents to hear. So just be brave if you choose this profession or if you want help with your sex life. Although the sexologist will not sleep with you and not everyone will be sexy, they know damn well how to address your problems.
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Cover image: https://www.madelinesnyder.com/kipp-harbor-times