I own your orgasm!
Evenings are magical. Not only because then we take the time for sex or masturbation, but also because in the evening we have time to have a drink or two with friends and people close to us. It is even better when there is too much wine. Conversations become more intimate, and they usually end up in a relaxed conversation about sex. This time I took the opportunity and asked men what do they think about the use of erotic toys.
As mentioned, the conversations started with one glass of wine too many, which gives people the courage to talk honestly about sex. I have no problems with it myself, even if I drink only juice and coffee, but I believe that it is easier for most to talk about sex when they are holding their fourth glass of wine in their hand, and a glass of bourbon is resting on a counter next to their phone. Our conversation started the same way. I took the opportunity and started asking them questions. I was curious to see how their partners used toys, alone or during sex.
At first, the responses were shy. They preferred to defend themselves with questions pointed at me and stupid jokes. They were acting like teenagers, when moms asks them if they are in love with their classmate. When I answered all the questions, they relaxed a bit and started responding. The loudest ones, of course, were single people. Half of them are happy to welcome the use of erotic toys during sex, as well as in a woman's solo play. Moreover, they even claimed that they would be influenced positively and stimulatingly, and they would have no problem joining the game themselves. My friends' words impressed me as they think the same way as I do. There is nothing more stimulating than someone who observes the play or offers help.
The other half was a little more reserved, but when they finally started talking, I couldn't believe my ears. They were totally against the use of erotic toys. Women do not need vibrators, they have fingers and have them to satisfy their needs. Some of them admitted, after some additional questions, that their partner could use toys when she was alone at home - when he would be on a business trip, with his friends or something. They did not oppose the use of sex toys in single women.
Unfortunately, the majority of men in relationships think the same. Only one-fifth of them were optimistic about using toys, claiming that they can be stimulating and can even make sex more enjoyable. Four-fifths, however, think erotic toys are useless for a woman in a relationship. The most common response was:
"Why use erotic toys? She has me!"
How can silicone imitation be better than real meat? It is not and never will be, but it offers a different experience. At the end of our exciting get-together, I discovered that toys put men in a difficult position. Are they afraid that toys will be better than them? That women will easily exchange men for a piece of silicone? Are they afraid that their techniques will not be enough because woman has more control over one simple vibrator and consequently knows better what satisfies her and what drives her to orgasm?
Men's fears were also confirmed by one of the studies. The vast majority of men who refuse to use erotic toys think they are not good enough in bed and, at some point, will be replaced by toys. Most of all, they are scared to death that their partner will experience more orgasms with the toy than with him. On the other hand, research has shown that men who use sex toys during sexual intercourse on themselves or their partner have fewer problems with erection, lust, orgasm, and pleasure. Surveys also show that couples who use erotic toys have a much more open relationship and are more likely to brighten up their evenings with sex under the shower, trying a new position, or masturbate together, with or without the use of toys.
Moji osebni pogovori in raziskava imajo kar nekaj skupnih točk. Predvsem strah moških pred uporabo igrač in kako jih bodo ženske zabrisale iz spalnice takoj, ko bo Lelo na trgu predstavil novo igračo. Vendar to enostavno ne drži. Ključnega pomena pri uporabi igrač je kanček odprte glave in dobra komunikacija v postelji. Moški, zavedno ali nezavedno, svojo partnerico z omejevanjem in prepovedovanjem uporabe igrač dominirajo in ji odvzemajo nadzor nad intimo. Nežnejši spol na splošno težje doseže vaginalni orgazem, zato je uporaba igrač in prstov med spolnim odnosom zame ključnega pomena. Še posebej pa so igrače čudovite za dober uvod v seks, skupaj z jezikom, ki ga ne more nadomestiti noben silikon na svetu.
More about the research: