{"id":5363,"date":"2024-06-13T17:53:55","date_gmt":"2024-06-13T15:53:55","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.thosecreamypeaches.com\/?p=5363"},"modified":"2024-06-13T17:53:58","modified_gmt":"2024-06-13T15:53:58","slug":"oh-ta-trideseta","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.thosecreamypeaches.com\/sl\/2024\/06\/13\/oh-ta-trideseta\/","title":{"rendered":"Oh, ta trideseta"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Sme\u0161no, nikoli si kot otrok nisem predstavljala, da bom v kristusova leta, kot Bridget Jones vstopila samska. A ta mejnik sem prestopila, ne samo samska, temve\u010d sre\u010dno samska in \u0161e vedno pri ta starih. <\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Po eni strani se mi je \u017ee kot mladostnici dozdevalo, da bo tako. Ne da bom \u0161e vedno \u017eivela doma, to me je lopnilo po glavi tako mo\u010dno, kot si nikoli nisem bila zmo\u017ena predstavljati, ampak da bom ta leta do\u010dakala samska. In iz leta v leto se je moje prepri\u010danje utrjevalo. Prvih trideset let je bilo res \u010dudnih in razburkanih na tem podro\u010dju. Od skrivnih otro\u0161kih sanj o poroki, zanikanja zaljubljenosti, ponosa in sramu v prvi zvezi, bole\u010dina po koncu, priseganje na vse bogove, da se to ne bo ve\u010d ponovilo in na koncu obljuba sami sebi, da bo bolj\u0161e z leti. No, leta so tu in z njimi tudi mir. Ne vem, ali sem si ravno to predstavljala v zgodnjih dvajsetih. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Takrat so bili bolj kot lik Bridget Jones med dekleti popularni romanti\u010dni filmi s sre\u010dnim, pravlji\u010dnim koncem<\/a>. In biti sam je bil stra\u0161ljivo. Vedno smo bili obkro\u017eeni z ljudmi, doma, v \u0161oli v prostem \u010dasu. A z leti, ko sem za sabo imela celo goro propadlih zvez, se je nekaj v meni obrnilo. Nekega ve\u010dera, ko sem se pozno vra\u010dala s faksa in sedela sama na avtobusu domov, sem, ko se gledala skozi okno, za\u010dutila mir. Moje glave ni obremenjeval dogovor, opravek, odgovornost do drugega. Nekaj v meni se je premaknilo in strah pred “biti sam” se je sprevrgel v strah “biti v zvezi”.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Bolj, ko sem se bli\u017eala tridesetim, manj sem razmi\u0161ljala o resnih zvezah. Posvetila sem se pomembnej\u0161im vpra\u0161anjem, kot so iskanje slu\u017ebe, napredovanje in na koncu kon\u010dno nakup stanovanja. No, vse to sem pri\u010dakovala pred tridesetim. A me \u017eivljenje ni poslu\u0161alo. \u0160e ve\u010d, pod noge mi je vrglo \u0161e poleno ve\u010d, ob katerega sem se spotaknila in oble\u017eala na tleh – diagnoza primarne multiple skleroze. V tistem trenutku se je vse otro\u0161ko vrnilo nazaj. Znova sem razmi\u0161ljala o resnej\u0161ih zvezah, celo otrocih, ki si jih nikoli prej nisem \u017eelela. Prete\u010di je moralo kar nekaj \u010dasa, da sem se znova vrnila na svojo, zeleno vejo.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Res je, da ti bolezen ne vzame tega, a jaz \u0161e danes mislim, da so otroci pri tej diagnozi tveganje, ki si ga ne \u017eelim. Tudi, \u010de bi imela rada otroke in mo\u010dno \u017eeljo po njih, se za to ne bi odlo\u010dila. Primaren razlog ni to, da bi otrok potem spremljal moje stanje, ki se bi iz leta v leto slab\u0161alo, temve\u010d sem pri tem \u010disti sebi\u010dne\u017e. Zaradi hormonskih sprememb in mo\u017enega poslab\u0161anja bolezni ne \u017eelim iti \u010dez proces nose\u010dnosti. Pri partnerjih je malo druga\u010de. Iskreno ne vem, kaj naj si mislim. Nekateri ljudje govorijo, da pri taki diagnozi potrebuje\u0161 nekoga, ki te spremlja skozi \u017eivljenje, mene pa se po glavi vrti vpra\u0161enje, kaj bi takemu \u010dloveku lahko sploh lahko dala. \u010ceprav se sli\u0161i \u010dudno, me je diagnoza podprla v svoji prej\u0161nji odlo\u010ditvi – ne otrokom in tudi ne zvezam. Na trenutke pri zadnji odlo\u010ditvi nisem tako neomajna, medtem ko me pri prvi ne premakne \u0161e tako divji veter. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Zakaj so \u017eenske pri tridesetih samske? \u010ce odmislim diagnozo, bi rekla dokaj pre\u017eve\u010deno frazo – ni \u010dasa in ni kraja. \u0160tudij, iskanje slu\u017ebe, vztrajanje v slu\u017ebi, garanje za napredovanje, za denar, ki ga krvavo potrebuje\u0161, da se osamosvoji\u0161. In vmes \u010disto po tiho na vrata potrkajo trideseta. A nasproti moji tezi stojijo vse tiste \u017eenske, ki jim je kljub \u0161tudiju in slu\u017ebi uspelo imeti dru\u017einsko \u017eivljenje. Ve\u010dinski razlog po mnenju drugih je samostojnost in nepripravljenost prilagajanja.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Te\u017eko je s prstom to\u010dno pokazati, v katerem grmovju ti\u010di zajec. Nekatere se odlo\u010dijo zavestno, druge pustijo, da sre\u010dajo \u017eivljenje. Delajo tisto, kar jim je v dolo\u010denem trenutku dano in se ne obremenjujejo z biolo\u0161ko uro, ali z vpra\u0161anjem “kdo ti bo pomagal, ko bo\u0161 stara”. Glavni mejnik so otroci. Ko jih ima kdo v dru\u017eini in je po mo\u017enosti \u0161e mlaj\u0161i od tebe, dobi\u0161 pomilujo\u010di pogled in oznako “stara devica” \u010deprav ne eno in ne drugo ne dr\u017ei. Ampak prav, pa naj bom stara devica.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Sme\u0161no, nikoli si kot otrok nisem predstavljala, da bom v kristusova leta, kot Bridget Jones vstopila samska. A ta mejnik sem prestopila, ne samo samska, temve\u010d sre\u010dno samska in \u0161e vedno pri ta starih.  Po eni strani se mi je \u017ee kot mladostnici dozdevalo, da bo tako. Ne da bom \u0161e vedno \u017eivela doma, to…<\/p>\n

–<\/span>Preberi ve\u010d–<\/span><\/a><\/div>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":5368,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_exactmetrics_skip_tracking":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[3],"tags":[1155,1153,1154,985],"class_list":["post-5363","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-clanki","tag-otroci","tag-stara-devica","tag-trideseta","tag-zivljenje"],"wppr_data":{"cwp_meta_box_check":"No"},"yoast_head":"\nThose Creamy Peaches - Oh, ta trideseta<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Mejnik tridesetih sem prestopila sre\u010dno samska in \u0161e vedno pri ta starih. 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